When You were growing up..... ?
When I came here I was surprised when people could guess correctly what i studied. You are an Indian so you must be studying IT/computers. I was amazed in the beginning but on thinking back I am surprised now that I was surprised. But one of the most difficult question to explain is why IT? You have to explain the whole system to explain that one did not have any real choice. The JEE forces the people who do well to choose between computers and electrical and the less unfortunate to hope that the get the course of their choice. We never choose what we want to do and once we realize what we really want to do , few of us have the courage to chuck away what we have achieved so far to start afresh.The longest I have taken to answer any question was when I was asked by a girl in my corridor What did you want to be when you were a kid?. Now I was like, woh, what do I say to this awesome unexpected question. I wanted to say that I do not know what I want know, how can I tell you what I wanted as a kid. I was thinking for two minutes, the two slowest minutes of my life, what did I want to be when I was growing up. Blank, Blank, Blank, that is what my mind kept on coming with. I finally said that I wanted to be a construction worker who build houses. I used to build houses with my blocks all the time when I was kid so may be that is why I said this as my option. I did not even know what an engineer was when I was a kid. But the more I have been thinking about this question , the more it troubles me. I have forgotten what it was like to be a kid. I have lost my childhood in the maddening rush-hour traffic.
What i can remember most about my life is the last two years of IIT. The remaining of my life seem hazy. Is this the part of growing up, to forget your childhood, your past. I wish the mind had USB add ons for extra capacity hard drives. I want to store every feeling, every thought and have them sorted, categorized so that I could look back on life with surity. Then my two years of engineering would be of any use. I look back on life like a hazy picture, best described in terms of certain major points which decided my course of journey. I wish I could see the small steps I took to reach where I am today.
I wish I remembered what I wanted to be when I was a kid. Sometimes I wish i was a kid again with no worries for the past and the future, just enjoying the present. My child hood is lost and I am searching for it. Some body show me the light.
posted by inhas @ 11:54 PM
6 Comments:
' I have lost my childhood in the maddening rush-hour traffic.'
That's the most scarily beautiful thing I have read for a long time...
All those biographies you read, you hear, about people talking about happy childhoods....
Not that ours weren't happy...it's just that we don;t know how...
been reading your blogs for some time now. thought i might also try a hand at this
stuff. its a good question to ask one-self
what u wanted to be. When i was young i was damn sure i would become an astronomer and nothing else. i dont remember when i lost that dream of mine. its true that in india there is less freedom in choosing your career. and its all because of money and security. If my dad was a businessman i would have loved to take some top class football training and choose football as a career. well i dont regret being where i am right now either. sometimes everybody does feel like becoming a child again and not have any worries about what's happened and what will happen in life,but thats the way life goes on , you gotta change,but i really feel we should keep the childish spirit in us alive and have some times when we can forget about things and have pure fun.
That was my first blog dude, the next one might come after a long time, i just felt like writing something today. Keep up with your blogging while i try to collect some of your child-hood photos and send them to you. keep smiling,
@ bofi
you beat me to it again. Have been thinking for a long time to go from normal literature to start reading biographies. But would take your word for it. And I am sure that I had a happy childhood but as you put it i have forgotten how.
@ gulshan
I did not know you read blogs to. And I wanted to write in my blog that if I was gulshan I would know that I wanted to play football. It is better to know what you wanted to be and not having it instead of not knowing what you really want at all. waiting for the pics :-) .
Well the earliest that I can remember is that I wanted to a doctor as my father and then a politician or perhaps a bureaucrat because history and politics really interested me.From as far as I can remember I have been watching exit polls and political news on TV for hours at stretch when other kids watched cartoons.But then I think my cousin brother went to US after engineering and thts when my parents decided that engineering is a sureshot way to instant richness.I heard about IIT for the first time during 10th preboards and yeah rest as they say is history.
I always envied the students who though less brilliant then me could always tell what they wanted to be and ultimately chose the same thing.Its now tht I realize that choosing what u like is more important then the ability to do whatever others like(involving usually big bucks).
u speak for a lot of ppl ythere in your post....and it's an amazing thought process the reveals itself in this post..though surprisingly I wwas discussing almost exactly this today evening with someone here, esp the first part.
Growing up is a bad, painful thing. It comes at the expense of innocence and life.
Very nice post....and thanx for sharing ur thoughts at mine!:)
Nice post, but these days I like the feeling of growing up, having my life in my hands. I like the feeling of power that I get when I realize I can direct my life wherever I want right now. It's thrilling to know big things are going to happen in the next couple of years, things that'll shape the rest of your life in many ways.
I miss home, but not childhood.
Post a Comment
<< Home